Monday, August 4, 2008

What I learned at the Gauntlet part 1

So, I meant to start writing about all of this stuff a while back. I mean, I got back from the Gauntlet weeks ago. But tons of stuff has been going on, so I've been on hiatus. But I'm back now, so no complaining. Here we go.

God's love is absolutely unconditional. I struggle with this fact so much. My view of God's love looks like I'm on this ladder and I'm climbing it to get closer to God. But as soon as I mess up I fall back to the bottom of that ladder and have to start all over again. But God totally showed me how unconditional His love is at the beach.

The first day there I was tired. Really tired. We had just driving through the night and the only sleep I'd gotten was bus sleep, which only came to me through exhaustion. If you know me at all, you know that when I'm tired I have two modes: drunk David, which can lead to some of the most interesting conversations I'll never remember and grumpy David who can easily shift into jerk David.

This particular day ended up leaning towards grumpy David. I was ill with my kids that day and yelled at them more than I should have. I had an all around bad attitude and totally didn't have my mind in the right spot.

Now, there's this kid named Garret that was on the trip. Garret has been in my small group for a few months now and comes off and on. I've been completely burdened to pray for this guy and his salvation since I met him. He's been through a lot of crap in his life and I've gotten to help him out a little but I've just knew he still needed Jesus.

At the end of the sermon on the first night, Perry asked anyone who wanted to accept Christ to stand up and Garret did! He was on one side of the room and I was on the other. So when Perry asked leaders to take the standing kids outside to talk to them about it, I sprinted across the room to get to him. I think I jumped over a few folks and almost had to push Willie away when he started to grab Garrett before I got there.

I talked to Garret for a while and got to lead him to Christ. I got to lead to Christ the very guy I had prayed would meet Him. This was such an amazing moment for me.

So that night, once the kids were in bed, I sat on the balcony and looked out at the ocean. God spoke very clearly to me. I had been a jerk all day, especially to my kids. There are moments in the day where I absolutely screwed up and didn't make God very proud. But that night, none of that stopped my Creator from allowing me to be used by Him. None of my screw ups made me less His child. I didn't get knocked to the ground and have to work my way back up to God's, "I'll use you" level. God had a plan and I wasn't big enough to mess it up.

It's so humbling and amazing that no matter how big of a screw up I can be, God still wants to use me. Nothing can separate me from His love.

1 comment:

Unknown said...

That's so awesome!! And hearing about God's unconditional love is definitely something I need right now. That's been such a huge theme in my life lately, how we can't work or do anything to get closer to Him but He always loves us.
Glad you're back to blogging!