My Worst Sin

God has been pointing out a lot of sins in my life lately. It's easy to get a little down when this happens, but I keep remembering that "there is now no condemnation for those who are in Christ Jesus." Jesus isn't pointing out these sins to me to condemn me. He is showing me all of these things because He has a plan for me and I can't do it if I have all of these sins bogging me down.

But, as the title suggests, I think I have one sin that far outweighs the others. And it's not my sin of pride, my anger, my inclination towards bitterness, my need to be noticed, my ability to worship anything in my life that's not Jesus...(you see how I could go on and on here?) My chief sin comes into effect when I move my mouth but not my arms.

I have a problem of being all talk. I guess after four years and two different English degree programs, I've become pretty good at having a pretty eloquent sound coming out of my mouth. I can talk about ministry all day and inspire some pretty cool thoughts, but then go and do a completely half-assed job with my own ministry. I can talk about how much purpose I want in my life and how I'm done waiting and am going to start pursuing God's purpose. Then I'll pray a little harder the next day and eventually let it fizzle out until I'm back in my rut. I've even poured out beautiful words meant to inspire love from a girl and then go off and not even put the effort into trying to lead a godly relationship with her.

(Funny side note, there's one girl in particular that every time I even try to think about blowing romantic smoke up her butt to make myself look better, God steps on my tongue and makes me sound like a comic book collector in his thirties the first time he meets his girlfriend offline.)

But why is it that I'm like this. Probably for a lot of reasons. Primarily it's laziness. But also, talk is easy, actions are hard. Actions are risky. I can't fail at talking; typically because I'm talking about something I feel someone else should be doing. If I take action there's a chance it could all blow up in my face and my pride would take a huge hit.

Here's the kicker, I've realized I've had this sin before. I would get sick of it, SAY I was going to change, then guess what happened? Nothing! The very sin that I was sick of kept control over me. So rather than just saying I'm going to change, I'll tell you one specific way I'm going to change. Then, if you're reading this, I expect you to ask me how I'm doing at it. If I'm slacking off, you can smack me in the back of the head (once per questioning!).

I'm in a leadership position with Fuse in Greenville now. I'm over a whole house of leaders. It's my job to actually lead them which I really haven't been doing. So tomorrow night I'm going to ask them the best way to encourage them and the best times to regularly meet with them one and one to see how they're doing in life and in their relationship with Jesus. Then I'm going to start regularly following up with that.

Also, I'm going to find a person to mentor. God's told me to do that for some time, so it's about time I do it! And I think I know who it will be, but we'll find out. So shoot me a text or ask me when you see me. Hit if necessary.

P.S. Sorry mom for cussing, but there's really no Christian way to say half-assed. And there never should be a reason for there to be.