It's been a while so I thought I might give an update on where I'm at for anyone out there who cares.
Last year I was closer to God that I think I've ever been. It was amazing how intimate of a relationship I had with Him. But this year things have been different. Especially for these past few months. I've been feeling pretty distant from God lately and am nowhere near where I was last year.
Last year was crazy. God showed me sides of Himself that I didn't know existed before then. I buckled down and disciplined myself to daily pursue Him. I'd lose sleep if I had to just to have time to spend with Him. I dropped other hobbies like reading and games and time with friends just to spend time with Him. And that's the difference. An intimate relationship with God isn't self-sustaining. It requires discipline and effort.
With the mess of things that have been going on these past few months, I've allowed myself to lose my discipline. And I'd love to just jump back in to where I was, but the truth is, it doesn't work that way. I didn't get to where I was overnight. I didn't leave there overnight. So I shouldn't expect to get back there overnight either. So what the Lord is teaching me right now is the importance of baby steps.
I'm not trying to have hour and a half long quiet times. I'm not trying to take three pages of notes on one verse. I'm just taking my time. If I just read one verse a day, but the Lord speaks to me through that, then I'm blessed that He chose to speak to me that much. It's all about discipline and baby steps back to my Father.
June Portrait
8 years ago
3 comments:
You have great insight. I love your honesty. I wish I had the humility to be this honest at your age. It would have saved me from a lot of heart ache. Sometimes when the dry times come, it's so easy to feel discouraged. I'm learning that God uses the dry times to humble us and ultimately give us a bigger hunger for Him. Even the fact that you simply can't make it happen on your own is a reminder of our dependence on the Holy Spirit . . . and He wants the best for you. Persevere, my friend.
I'm glad to see you blogging again. I've been worried about you.
I hate to ask this, but do you have a copy or notes of what you said at your Dad's memorial service? I would love to have a copy if you do. It was one of the finest tributes and sermon's rolled into one I have ever heard. I was very proud to know you!
Kevin, thanks for the kind words and encouragement. Any kind of compliment from a godly man like yourself means more than you'll know.
Lynn, I should be going more regularly from now on. Especially over the next month. I appreciate those words about my eulogy as well. I have a copy of what I had planned on saying, but what I actually said is a different story. Most of that was off the cuff, straight from the heart.
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