I said the sinner's prayer for the first time when I was five years old. I knew absolutely nothing about Jesus and His grace, I'd just heard the man on stage talking about hell and heaven and I knew I didn't want to go to hell. So I was told if I prayed this prayer, I'd get Jesus and not go to hell. Why wouldn't I say this prayer? I'd burned my hand on the stove before and I knew how much that hurt and couldn't imagine that happening all over! Basically, Jesus was my oven mitt (this feels like it has t-shirt potential).
So when I was twelve and Jesus really did get a hold of me and I felt his irresistible grace tearing at my heart, I really didn't know what was going on. I was "saved" already. I'd even been baptized. I just didn't know Jesus. But I didn't want people to think I'd been lying to them for years about being a Christian. So I didn't know what to do.
Thankfully, irresistible grace is just that: irresistible. So I had very little choice but to grab my preacher after the service and tell Him I needed Jesus. I remember Him putting his arm around me and moving me down the isle. I very fondly recall, as we slid by people to a back Sunday school room, him saying in his most country preacher voice, "We've got to get this boy saved!"
He also grabbing my mom and sitting her and a twenty something guy in my church, who was my absolute hero, named Eric down with me in those way too small plastic yellow chairs in the children's Sunday school room. My mom cried the entire time. I repeated after the preacher and I just knew that it was right this time. I had Jesus and I was never going to be the same again.
I was pumped up about Jesus and ready to tell the world, so I went home put on my favorite Christian bracelet and went to school the next day expecting tons of people to ask me what all the different colored beads meant. That didn't happen, sadly, but I persevered nonetheless. That is until my pastor started asking me about being baptized.
I had been baptized already and doing so again would make it very clearly known that I'd been lying about knowing Jesus. I felt as if the whole church would have looked at me with the same disdain as that shop clerk looked at Kevin with when he stole that toothbrush.
So I did what I now absolutely hate to hear people say. I told my preacher that "I really think that that was more of a rededication of my life." It makes me sad that I'd already been trained to think that I could take my life back from Jesus after giving it to Him in the first place.
A lot of things happened between that time and now, but they equal way too many funny stories to even hint at in this already too long post. But I do believe in baptism after conversion, and so does God. So He finally grabbed me by the shirt and told me this is something I needed to do. Of course, by this time I was 21 and becoming a member at NewSpring Church. Better nine years late than never.
It was an absolutely amazing experience finally following through on what God wanted me to do. I was Baptized with around 400 other people but never felt like I was lost in the crowd, that was just more people for me to make my faith public in front of. But, I am happy I was at the front of the line. I can't imagine that water was too clean by around person 340.
So many people came out to support me that night, even some of my former youth came which was amazing. And I still remember Jake Beaty commenting to me about how loud my cheering section was, thanks to the energetic Ignite volunteers on the sidelines.
This is basically a snap shot of how I came to Christ. There's so much more to tell and that's encouraging. But one thing God's been hitting me with lately is how important it is to remember what He's done for me and where I've come from. And just seeing how immature I was compared to how...well, I'm realizing I'm still pretty immature, but I'm getting better! I promise!
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